Stop confusing thoughts and feelings getting in the way of being the person you want to be, or doing the things you want to do.
I help people improve their Psychological Flexibility:
the ability to drop the struggle with unhelpful thoughts and feelings that can distract you, so you can stop old patterns getting in the way of the life you aspire to.
Having confusing thoughts & feelings isn’t a sign that something’s wrong. It's entirely normal.
Our brains still run on ancient wiring designed to detect danger. This “caveman” system kept our ancestors alive by scanning for threats, and it still fires today. So when your mind sends out chaotic or overwhelming thoughts, it isn’t broken. It’s just doing its original job. But it struggles to tell the difference between real danger and everyday life. We need to learn how to help our minds to figure that out.
It’s constantly battling against them that can get you stuck.
We all built “not safe” stories in our minds when we were younger. They would have helped at the time, but later they can get set off when an imminent threat doesn’t actually exist.
If we don’t learn to unhook from these stories, they drag us into old patterns that pull us away from the things that actually matter.
Consistently fighting to avoid or get rid of unwanted thoughts and feelings can create moments of being…
These are those exhausting states where you struggle against your own mind. When you’re rigid, difficult thoughts, feelings and habits can ‘hook’ you more easily:
They feel like they have the power to pull you away - or leave you disconnected - from showing up in the ways you want to in your life.
Psychological Rigidity can negatively influence your life in a number of ways:
PSYCHOLOGICALLY RIGID.
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Overthinking and spiralling thoughts.
Worrying about the future or replaying the past.
Harsh self-talk and imposter feelings.
Chasing perfection or people’s approval until it wears you out.
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Avoiding rejection or confrontation.
Lashing out or reacting in ways we don’t want to.
Carrying guilt or quiet resentment.
Feeling distant, distracted, or unable to be fully present with the people who matter most.
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Putting things off.
Feeling drained or burnt out.
Fear of falling short.
Racing thoughts and restless nights that make it harder to focus or care.
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Feeling consumed by big changes or decisions.
Caught between options and afraid to choose.
Slipping into all-or-nothing patterns that leave you tired and unsure where to go next.
We’re sold endless quick-fixes for rigidity:
More productivity hacks, more self-help, more routines.
They sometimes work - for a while.
But when the thoughts or feelings return, you’re left thinking;
“Maybe I’m the problem.”
You’re not. You’re human.
It’s not our thoughts and feelings that trap us: it’s our struggle against them.
I want to help you to develop the skills that make you…
PSYCHOLOGICALLY FLEXIBILE
Learn to make space for the full range of your thoughts and emotions - instead of constantly struggling against the ones you don’t want:
This ability allows you to halt unhelpful patterns of thinking, and steady yourself in the present, so you can take deliberate steps towards living the way you want to - even when discomfort, challenging thoughts or pain shows up along the way.
What Psychological Flexibility gives you:
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Stepping back, observing, finding calm
Grounding yourself in the present
Treating yourself with honesty & compassion
Acting from your chosen values.
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Communicating openly, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Making room for emotions while staying fair and kind.
Showing up with presence and attention with the people who matter.
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Taking consistent, values-led action.
Letting go of mental tug-of-wars and focusing on what actually matters.
Learning, adjusting, and moving forward anyway.
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Quieting mental noise and finding rest.
Building steady habits rooted in purpose, not pressure.
Living meaningfully, even when discomfort shows up.
1,000+ studies and more than 600+ clinical trials show that developing Psychological Flexibility leads to:
Better Emotional Regulation.
Lower levels of distress.
Stronger Relationships.
Improved overall wellbeing.
We’ll build and develop your Psychological Flexibility with a set of techniques across 3 key skillsets that anyone can practice and learn:
Unhooking skills you’ll develop.
Create Space
Learning how to ‘unhook’ from challenging thoughts and feelings, allowing them to come, stay, and go in their own good time.
Skills building includes:
Hands as Thoughts
Letting go of the Struggle
Dropping Anchor
The Documentary Crew
Connect & Observe
Perspective skills to ground yourself in what’s real right now, see your role in life’s bigger picture, and accept thoughts with compassion.
Skills building includes:
Naming the Story
Flavouring & Savouring
The NNNPW Approach
Leaves on a Stream
Act with Clarity
Getting clear on the small, steady steps that reflect the long-term picture of who you want to be, and how you want to live.
Skills building includes:
Your Mistaken Funeral
The Values Bullseye
The H.A.R.M. Confidence Builder
Values-based Goal-setting
Your Psychological Flexibility coach.
I’m Chris James, an ICF- and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy-trained coach who specialises in developing evidence-based Psychological Flexibility skills to help you to build clarity, presence, and values-driven action in your life.
I’ve been using these skillsets to guide my own life for the past 7 years, and I now help people build their own capacity to create space, connect and observe, and take values-led action - so you can live with clarity and presence in the moments that matter most.
I do this through a short series of weekly 1-on-1, 50mins skills training sessions, online or in person.
Each session is £80, with a free 30mins chemisty session upfront to check our fit, and I recommend committing to 4-6 sessions to get the most from the work.
Ready to start building your Psychological Flexibility?
Jot down some info, and I’ll be in touch shortly.