Avoid Deathbed Regret. Live intentionally.
I help men and women in their 30s & 40s build the skills that guard against wishing you’d done things differently when your time comes.
I work with you using learnings from philosophy, psychology and clinically proven techniques from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) - across your Relationships, Health, Leisure and Career.
I offer advice & tools to answer three questions that combat deathbed regret:
What does an intentional life look like for me?
What tends to pull me off course?
What tools & skills can I use to respond to life’s challenges & situations in line who I want to be, and the life I want to live?
So you walk away with a personalised plan for the life you want to live, and reliable tools to help you live it, today.
Regrets are insights that come too late.
In 2019, I was 33. Good job. Good salary. Decent life. And one massive thought:
When I’m on my deathbed, what do I want to say I did with my life?
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I knew the answer wasn’t “senior strategist at a global media company.”
There was one thing I knew I did want to say: “I wrote a novel.”
And I didn’t want to wait until I was 65 to find out if I meant it.
So I saved. Planned. Quit. Gave myself three months. Three months became a year and a half. Editing. Feedback. Rewrites. Then more rewrites. But I finished.
It wasn’t a bestseller. What it was, was proof.
Proof that I care about curious, difficult things. That when something matters, I can keep going. That this is the kind of life I want more of.
I didn’t know it at the time, but that choice set the foundation for everything that followed.
It put me on the path of a values-led life. Not always a comfortable one, but one with intent.
One where I choose what matters, regardless of what my mind or other people say.Who do I want to be remembered as? What do I want to be glad I gave my time to?
Because when my time comes, I want to be able to look back with a calm gratitude for my choices, not regret.
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But too often we don’t have a plan to live it out.
Having insight into deathbed questions helps me to make meaningful choices and feel gratitude today.
I found my way through reading, listening, testing, and getting things wrong. And along this path, I discovered something proven advice and approaches from philosophy, psychology and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to help me live out everything I’d learned.
I now use everything I know to coach men and women in their 30s and 40s to deal with deathbed regret properly.
Let’s get started.
I’m Chris James. I use learnings from philosophy, psychology and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy to help you build practical psychological skills to create clarity and act in line with what matters so you can Avoid Deathbed Regret.
Ease in with a complementary 20-minute Discovery Session. This is a working session, not a sales call. We go straight into what you want to change, I explain my approach, and you make the call if it feels right for you - then we book your first Training Session.
Coaching is then delivered through weekly one-to-one 50-minute Training Sessions, online.
Training Sessions are £80, and I typically recommend 4 to 6 sessions in total. If you’re not happy with your coaching, I’ll give you your money back, no questions asked.
If you want a clear, practical starting point to see if this can work for you, book your Discovery Session today.
Advice and tools to move you:
AWAY FROM…
- Overthinking that spirals into paralysis or avoidance.
- Constantly chasing perfection to the point of burnout.
- Not being sure what to do with your life, making it harder to focus or feel motivated.
- A sense of drifting: knowing you’re capable of more but unsure how to move towards it.
- Emotional unsteadiness: Lashing out or reacting in ways we don’t want to.
- Feeling distant, distracted, or unable to be fully present with the people who matter most.
A mind that can be too loud or distracting at times:
“I know what to do… I just don’t do it.”
“My mind talks me out of things I want to do deep down.”
“I go through the motions, but something feels off.”
“I get hijacked by my own thoughts.”
“I wish I was more consistent, productive, disciplined, kind etc.”
…AND TOWARDS
- A steadier inner life.
- A clearer sense of who you’re choosing to be.
- A way to feel anchored without chasing perfect emotions.
- Skills that actually work in messy real life.
- Guidance that doesn’t feel patronising.
- Reliable tools to feel more connected and present in the moments you care about.
A place where your relationship with how you see your life feels steady:
“When my mind kicks off, I know what to do with it.”
“I stop the inner struggle & take meaningful action, even when discomfort shows up.”
“I build steady, values-led habits instead of pushing myself through pressure.”
“I don’t need perfect motivation to act like the person I want to be.”
“I communicate with more openness: with myself and the people who matter.”
Have a question?
FAQs
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I help people feel more fulfilled, steady and aligned with the life they keep saying they want… but haven’t quite managed to live yet.
That usually means working on three things:Understanding and regulating emotions
Learning more effective ways to handle unhelpful mental habits
Building small, meaningful actions that stick
It’s practical psychological coaching grounded in evidence, not vague positivity or ‘manifesting’.
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People who are functioning, capable and doing “fine”, but privately feel:
Stuck in unhelpful patterns
Drained by their own thoughts
Less confident than they should be
Unsure how to move towards a life that actually feels like theirs
If you’re tired of overthinking, want to feel more steady, and care about living by your own values, this is for you.
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Most people can expect noticeable shifts in:
Feeling more steady and less reactive
Being less tangled in thoughts
Handling difficult emotions more effectively
Making consistent progress on things that matter
Feeling more connected to themselves and others
The aim isn’t perfection. It’s steadiness, clarity and traction.
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No.
This isn’t therapy, clinical treatment, or crisis support.
It’s psychological coaching rooted in skills shown to improve wellbeing, emotional steadiness and day-to-day functioning.Think of it this way: therapy helps you heal. Coaching helps you build.
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Simple, repeatable psychological skills drawn from philosophy, psychology and Acceptance & Commitment Therapy, and values-led action, such as:
Techniques to reduce overthinking
Tools for emotional steadiness
Exercises that strengthen presence and attention
Values-based decision frameworks
Ways to handle difficult thoughts without being dragged around by them
These are practical, not abstract. You’ll actually use them day to day.
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You should feel clearer and more grounded after the first few sessions.
Meaningful change tends to build over 6 weeks as the skills start becoming second nature.This isn’t a magic switch. It’s a steady shift that compounds.
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I don’t do “rah-rah” motivation, vision boards or forced positivity.
My work is based on research-backed psychological skills, including:Psychological flexibility
Values-led behaviours
Emotion regulation
Attention and presence skills
The coaching is direct, practical, and built around your real life. Not clichés or hype.
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Yes, but not in a school-teacher way.
You’ll get small, manageable practices that help your progress stick.
Think: 2–5 minute exercises, or simple choices you’ll be asked to apply during your week.
Nothing overwhelming, everything designed with a purpose, but practice is required to make these tools stick. -
If you’re reading this and thinking:
“I know what to do… I just don’t do it”
or
“I feel capable, but something isn’t lining up internally,”
you’re in the right place.A free intro chat should make it obvious either way.
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That’s normal. Those approaches rely heavily on insight.
What I teach is a skills-based approach: you practise small things consistently, so change becomes durable.You don’t need perfect discipline. You just need repetition.
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Absolutely.
Sessions are private, secure and held with complete confidentiality. -
Yes.
All coaching is online and works with most time zones. -
Book a free intro session by filling out the form on this page..
We’ll talk through what you’re facing, what you want, and whether I can help.
If it’s a good fit, I’ll walk you through next steps.