Learn how to get out of your own head, so you can live the way you want to.
It’s fundamentally human to experience a particular thought or feeling, and be struck by the sense that things might soon unravel.
Our cavemen minds have engrained this sense in every single one of us.
But all too easily, a thought or feeling gets us stuck in loops of runaway worries, shutting down, or habits that take more than they give.
Having difficult thoughts & feelings isn’t a sign that something’s wrong.
It’s constantly battling against them that can get you stuck.
I coach PSYCHOLOGICAL FLEXIBILITY.
The skillset that teaches you how to ‘unhook’ from the unhelpful thoughts, feelings and habits that can pull you off course.
So you can show up in the ways you want to.
Do the things you aspire to.
And be the person you know you are.
Consistently trying to avoid or get rid of unwanted thoughts and feelings can lead to you being…
This is the exhausting state of struggling against your own mind. When you’re rigid, difficult thoughts, feelings and habits can ‘hook’ you more easily:
Thoughts and feelings feel like they have the power to pull you away - and leave you disconnected - from showing up in the ways you want to in your life.
Psychological Rigidity can influence your life in a number of ways:
PSYCHOLOGICALLY RIGID.
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Overthinking and spiralling thoughts.
Worrying about the future or replaying the past.
Harsh self-talk and imposter feelings.
Chasing perfection or people’s approval until it wears you out.
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Avoiding rejection or confrontation.
Lashing out or reacting in ways we don’t want to.
Carrying guilt or quiet resentment.
Feeling distant, distracted, or unable to be fully present with the people who matter most.
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Putting things off.
Feeling drained or burnt out.
Fear of falling short.
Racing thoughts and restless nights that make it harder to focus or care.
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Feeling consumed by big changes or decisions.
Caught between options and afraid to choose.
Slipping into all-or-nothing patterns that leave you tired and unsure where to go next.
Distracting yourself: Excessive habits at a problematic level that get in the way of meaningful activity e.g. internet use, social media, TVs, books, relentless work or exercise routines.
Opting out: Continued avoidance - feeling disconnected - from important or potentially life-enhancing events and moments, tasks, people.
Thinking Strategies: Constantly overanalysing, ruminating, catastrophising, imagining escape, getting stuck in judgements, rules, affirmations or beliefs.
Substances: Excessive food, alcohol, drugs etc.
Signs of when Rigidity might be showing up…
(The D.O.T.S Signals)
We’re sold endless quick-fixes for rigidity:
More productivity hacks, more self-help, more routines.
They sometimes work - for a while.
But when the thoughts or feelings return, you’re left thinking;
“Maybe I’m the problem.”
You’re not. You’re human.
It’s not our thoughts and feelings that trap us: it’s our struggle against them.
I want to help you to develop the skills that make you…
PSYCHOLOGICALLY FLEXIBILE
Learn to make space for the full range of your thoughts and emotions - instead of constantly struggling against the ones you don’t want:
This ability allows you to steady yourself in the present, so you can take deliberate steps towards living the way you want to - even when discomfort, challenge thoughts or pain shows up along the way.
Strengthening this ability can bring benefits to every area of your life:
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Stepping back, observing, finding calm
Grounding yourself in the present
Treating yourself with honesty & compassion
Acting from your chosen values.
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Communicating openly, even when it’s uncomfortable.
Making room for emotions while staying fair and kind.
Showing up with presence and attention with the people who matter.
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Taking consistent, values-led action.
Letting go of mental tug-of-wars and focusing on what actually matters.
Learning, adjusting, and moving forward anyway.
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Quieting mental noise and finding rest.
Building steady habits rooted in purpose, not pressure.
Living meaningfully, even when discomfort shows up.
Psychological Flexibility is built through 3 key skillsets that anyone can practice and learn…
Unhooking skills you’ll develop.
Create Space
Learning how to ‘unhook’ from challenging thoughts and feelings, allowing them to come, stay, and go in their own good time.
Skills building includes:
Hands as Thoughts
Letting go of the Struggle
Dropping Anchor
The Documentary Crew
Connect & Observe
Perspective skills to ground yourself in what’s real right now, see your role in life’s bigger picture, and accept thoughts with compassion.
Skills building includes:
Naming the Story
Flavouring & Savouring
The NNNPW Approach
Leaves on a Stream
Act with Clarity
Getting clear on the small, steady steps that reflect the long-term picture of who you want to be, and how you want to live.
Skills building includes:
Your Mistaken Funeral
The Values Bullseye
The H.A.R.M. Confidence Builder
Values-based Goal-setting
Core Concepts we’ll cover.
> The 3 Happiness Myths
> The Choice Point
> Workability
> The Struggle Switch (& how our brain is really designed to work)
> Behavioural Goals (vs. Outcome or Emotional ones)
> What Is & Isn’t in our Control (& why that matters)
> 12 Core Beliefs & Narratives that can hold us back
> The Challenge Formula
Evidence-led Modern Psychology
1,000+ studies and more than 600+ clinical trials show that developing Psychological Flexibility leads to:
Better Emotional Regulation.
Lower Distress.
Stronger Relationships.
Higher Overall Wellbeing.
Your Psychological Flexibility coach.
I’m Chris James, an ICF- and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy-trained coach who specialises in developing evidence-based Psychological Flexibility skills to help you to build clarity, presence, and values-driven action in your life.
I’ve been using these skillsets to guide my own life for the past 7 years, and I now help people build their own capacity to create space, connect and observe, and take values-led action - so you can live with clarity and presence in the moments that matter most.
I do this through a short series of weekly 1-on-1, 50mins skills training sessions, online or in person.
Interested in developing your Psychological Flexibility?
Jot down some info, and I’ll be in touch shortly.